3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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