Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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