Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
