This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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