Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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