On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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