I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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