i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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