We're like a lot better than the average bears
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize