i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
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Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
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I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
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