Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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