just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Even my vagina gasped.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
