Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
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Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
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do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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