He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
