I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
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i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
this just has baby written all over it
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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