What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
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