I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
birth control should be required to get into college
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.