Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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