OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
