OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
