cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
