I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I enjoy the company of your penis
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize