"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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