left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
