So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
