Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
