Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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