3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
