Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
