watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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