Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
