U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
you never un-have a 4some
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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