Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
