haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
birth control should be required to get into college
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Randomize
