I'm sorry my penis didn't work
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
