How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
