she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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