the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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