so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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