I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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