More tranny stories later!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
