She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
