WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
