Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you had me at cake vodka
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
