Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
