You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize