dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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