Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
