He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
