how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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