before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
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