3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
