so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
it glows. i had to have it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
