How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
