At least make sure they are 18
Why
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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