Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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