At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
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he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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